My day today....

It seems that I am about to go crazy. You see I woke up this morning as my husband was heading out the door to go hunting because if you didn't know today is opening day of bow season which is like one of the most anticipated days of the year in this household. Anyway, Frank and Bo left as I was starting to give Levi his bottle which I know God has to be looking out for me because it is all I can do to hold my eyes open during this time and I am surprised that I haven't fallen asleep and dropped him yet, well, I finally get to go back to sleep but my little sis Leann decides to call me this morning around 8 and usually I am awake because I am just used to getting up now around 6 so I now have this built in alarm clock, but not this morning all the sleepless nights and the 3 am feedings are starting to catch up with me so I was sleeping good and sis calls. She says, " Are you asleep?" I say, "Well, I was but not now." She needed to come over this morning to steal my bathroom stuff. You see, she wants to do her bathroom in bears and that is what my bathroom is done in and I am kindof sick of it so I told her to come get my stuff and I would take her stuff from her bathroom which by the way is palm trees so we traded but I got the palm trees stuff in my living room and my bathroom has nothing now so it looks pretty bad right now. Well, I got off track there but I wanted you to know why she came over. So she says I'll head over in a little while so I got up started cleaning the kitchen because Leann is this neat nut and I don't like her seeing my house messy, she makes me feel lazy, so I start sweeping and I am fixing to mop and guess who walks in the door, Leann, she got here too fast so I never did the mopping today. You see, I had good intentions to do it today but I got lazy once she left and then I wasn't modivated anymore. I'm just lazy. Frank got back in around 10 and Bo was upset because he has allergies and he is coughing his head off so they didn't see any deer and of course Frank isn't too happy about this. It's opening day and you want to see a deer on opening day but thanks to Bo they didn't see anything. So Bo walks around the house for the next few hours sad because he can't go back after lunch. I am just laying around the house picking up after the girls which I might add is a very aggrevating full time job because they love to mess up but not clean up. By this time I am starting to feel sorry for myself and I start crying and getting all depressed because I haven't gotten to really talk to my husband for like two days because he wasn't at home on friday either so I am really getting upset and I start acting like this big ole baby which I want to add is easy to do right now with all the baby hormones in my body. Finally Frank gets mad at me because I am mad at him and acting weird so he slams the door and goes outside and I set on the couch and just cry, feeling way too sorry for myself. Man, it has been a crazy hormonal day for me. This afternoon several couples from the church get together and they go see the new movie Fireproof in Cookeville so mom is keeping Steph's kids so I finally get some company and some attention from someone so now I feel like a new woman and I don't feel so lonely anymore. So thanks to Morgan for hanging out with me this afternoon I no longer feel lonely so Frank and I may be able to get along tomorrow...lol...Man, it sinks being so emotional but I can't help it. Frank is a great husband but when it comes to my mood swings he isn't the most understanding person. He isn't the type to just drop how he feels and try to make me feel better so that stinks for me at times but oh well I can always find someone else to hang out with when I am needing someone to talk to. I had ask Michaela to come over and stay but her dad wouldn't let her but I guess he doesn't realize how bad I was needing someone to be around and how lonely I was feeling. Don't worry people I am not going off the deep end I just get a little emotional sometimes. I don't have Brittany anymore to talk to because she has a boyfriend now and she spends every single minute of the day with him and Frank isn't the talkative type so I am just up creek without a paddle. Okay enough crying for now. I am hoping that if I make an effort to blog that I will get inspired to write more. I just feel like all I do is fuss about stuff on here and I don't want to drive ya'll crazy.

Levi is doing good. He was weighed on wednesday and he was 9 pounds 2 ounces. He is growing so fast. While Morgan was here today I took some pictures with her camera and I got some good ones of him with his eyes wide open so I can't wait to get them downloaded so I can post them on here for ya'll to see. Reagan loves him to death. She kisses his head all the time. I won't let her kiss hom on the face right now so she just kisses the top of his head. It is so sweet, you can just see it in her eyes how much she loves him. I guess that is all I can think of for now. Hope it wasn't too boring.

Picture of Levi

Here are a few pictures that I promised. Sorry it took me so long to post them. This is Levi right after we got home from the hospital.
This is my kids checkin Levi out for the first time..
This is Brittany holding him for the first time...
I look horrible here but after what I went through then it is to be expected.
Aunt Cheryl came down on saturday and Reagan just fell in love with her. I think I have the sweetest aunt ever. Thanks Aunt Cheryl for everything...I love you!

Getting something off my chest.....

Today I feel a little depressed I guess you could say. I know that the hormone changes don't help any but it really isn't from having the baby it is just from all the new things that are going on in my life. I guess Levi couldn't have come at a better time for me. I feel like I am losing something that has means alot to me and it is just out of my control but in it's place I now have a new best friend in my little Levi. If I feel down I can just look in his eyes and I can feel the love from him and it just warms my heart, which right now is exactly what I need. I know that things come into our lives and they leave too but it is real painful to lose something that you really care about, and what is even worse is when it is still right in front of you but really it's not there anymore. I know that God has a plan for everything in my life so I just gotta believe that He is working everything for my good. I am sorry to dish on you guys but sometimes just getting it out helps you to cope better. I am just at a stage in my life that I am scared and I feel like I don't have any control of the future that is scarey. I want to build this huge wall up around me and my family to keep the hurt out but I can't. I want to protect the people I love but they won't let me. I will just have to leave it in God's Hands. He is the only one that can fix it and make it work. I just care about people too much I guess. I worry too much. Just help me pray about this thing in my life that I will just let God have control and that He will help me to be in the right and do what I am supposed to do. Thanks for listening....Maybe next time I won't be whinning so much...

Thomas Levi Walker

Well, it is like after midnight and yes I am up. First of all I tried to go to sleep but I am just too restless to sleep. I lay down and it is like my body won't cooporate and shut down too. My heart feels like it is pounding and you can't go to sleep when you feel like that. Anyway, I guess I will adjust in a day or two and I will get some sleep. On Tuesday I had my fourth child. A boy, he weighted 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20 inches long. I had a natural, drug-free delivery which was very dramatic for me and I am just so glad it is over. Frank says that I did well but I was about to die, I think. I did handle it good except for the last 30 mins or so I really thought that I couldn't do it anymore because it hurt so bad but I got through it and now I have a precious baby boy for my reward. He is so sweet. I think he's gonna be a mommas boy. I know he's only two days old but you just wait and see. lol I just know that I have the best husband in the whole world. I couldn't have gotten through the delivery without him at my side helping me and giving me support. I really love him and thank him for being that rock for me when I needed him the most. I love you Frank! Well, I will post a picture or two for you all to see. I will try to blog more since I will be home for eight weeks....yea!!! Well, until next time......Well, I don't think I can post a picture right now but I will try to do that tomorrow. Later.....